Yeah, I have worked under pressure quite often, had a CFO of a Fortune 300 company tell me I didn’t type fast enough, I have had a cardiac surgeon throw a x-ray jacket at me because it wasn’t quick enough, went to jail and was told to disrobe in-front of many males and bend over and cough (hoping not to shit myself).
All of my life experiences have told me one thing in common: Frankie, you CANNOT fucking fail. Man up, face it, and lets fucking go. So today, we went. So we went…we went on an all night nose beer bender that lead into me turning my 11am alarm off twice with a client. Who cares, fuck it, I was only 9 minutes late. Better than most bitches.
So, went and grabbed lunch and ran in my boy that runs the ‘corner’. Take that as you may. Was on my way to the next bodega to grab some cervezas and chips so I could go chill at the pool and get some Vitamen D but abrudtly I was told to stop by some c o l o m b I a n police. I stop, abided, being a god damn gentleman. They asked me to come with them; so I did. ‘Show me your ID’, ‘Here you go sir’, next command: ‘EMPTY YOUR POCKETS’. FUCK…no way to win here. LETS FUCKING GO CARLITOS…’Here, I have a G’, ‘Sir, that’s gonna be a big problem’, next polizo takes out the cuffs and then I look him straight in his god given eyes and tell him ‘What? There’s no way I am going to jail today’. Homey puts the cuffs back in the holster and then I ask the ring leader ‘How much you want? $500’. He responded ‘Its going to be a costly mistake, but that sounds good. When you go the bank, please be careful and inconspicuous’.
There I go, a free man if I fucking pay these guys. I am walking, sweating hoping my debit card gives me life and I don’t have to call Friends and Family to get me out of this mess. In the end, its my mess, Litos gets Litos out his own messes. Go the ATM and I have withdrawn the maximum 3 times working on the 4 and 5 to appease the high crimes. Welp, they don’t go through. I tried twice. What the fuck can I do now? One thing, go back and tell them to take it or leave it.
As I am walking back to the mobile command center, the two shady agents were on a motorcycle and went and stopped on a alley. I went over there, threw the one million, two hundred thousand pesos in the back of their bike, they fake looked at my ID, told me they didn’t need the other eight hundred thousand pesos and speed off. I am sitting there, relieved and then, FUCK MY FUCKING PHONE. I start screaming as loud as I can. They stopped and come bring my phone back 🙂
Cheers mother fuckers. Enjoy life. Embrace the problems and resolve them.